06.08.2013

watching  a show online and i don't know why i suddenly thought of you. i tried my very best to keep you away from me. going away did help, but only momentarily. i don't know why i keep thinking of you. i don't know what you have over me.

i wished you were here when i was looking for a job.
i wished you were here when i was preparing for an interview.
i wished you were here when i was feeling scared at the interview.
i wished you were here when i was feeling elated when i got the job.

most importantly, i wish you were here.

22.06.2013

just came back from bkk with family, can't believe I'm still crying because of you. crying for you. every time I wonder what have you done to me? what do you have over me? I don't have an answer. I kinda look forward to seeing you again, although I'm really not sure how it's gonna be. I wish you knew. I really wish. 

just as I'm feeling all sad that I didn't get your birthday wish, you texted me. you wish for the happiness I deserved as always. how do I find happiness when my happiness had left me. you are my happiness. tell me how to feel again. I need to feel alive. 

again, I wish you knew. 

15.06.2013

96°C Café - watching this show now. it's a channel 8 show but i'm watching it online... I have no time to watch during exams sighhhh. cried through this series one time to many. it reminds me of you over and over again. I have no idea what spell you have over me/. I can't bring myself out of this mess.

how have you been?
have you found someone yet?
how's work?
where are you staying at now?
do you feel like Home now?

I miss you and I wish you knew.
-Joyce Khoo

06.06.2013

I wish I could share the news about jade's pregnancy with you. I wish you could be the one I wanna share all joys/ sadness with. I wish you were still mine to call.

I still miss you.
I still think of you.
I still stalk your fb.
I still hope you'll come to me, and say i'm all you ever need.
I still think about how you're doing.
I still wish for a little something for us.
I still yearn for you.

I actually cried in Malacca in bed because hotel beds remind me of you.

I wish you knew.

04.06.2013

it's been a pretty long time since I last wrote here. the pain is still within me, except I think I learnt to live with it. it's really painful and I really miss you. but it's a good kind of pain it makes me feel alive, just like how I feel more alive when I know you had my back.
keyword: had.

just back from Malacca and I miss you more than ever. the last time I slept in a hotel bed I had you by my side. the bed felt cosier, the room felt warmer. this time round the room felt hard and cold, the bed was  too wide for me. I slept with the lights and TV on, and I cried myself to sleep. I miss you this much.

exams have ended for me, sadly all my job applications to Melbourne are getting rejected and more rejections. should I give up? I wish you knew. I wish you know how badly I want us to work. this is eating me up slowly. i'll be entering this next phase of my life very soon, this phase I've always been afraid to enter and I wish you were here. to guide me through all these adult decisions like you promised. I really want you here.

I miss you. yes I do.

12.05.2013

today I dreamt of you. early in the morning. that I was at your oz house and we were lying on a bed like horizontally and starting to kiss when your mom called out to you. lolll. and you were saying you don't like the wifi connection y'all had cause it keeps breaking. and I made a comment about my friend (claire) has the same bed sheets as you and it's a girl bed sheet! it has white base and small little pink flowers all over hmmm. such a girl haha. 

miss you so bad. don't forget to wish your mom happy Mother's Day. 

I wish you knew. 

-joyce

08.04.2013

this morning while waking up I dreamt of you. in sg. with sean. haha this is weird. we were in a house, don't know whose house, washing up after eating and stuff. and you asked me to bring a pot in from the dining table I was like "are you serious or joking" and you said "you have to do everything I ask you to do. like jurisprudence and differentiation". -.- this makes no sense at all. 

then we went down to get the car. hopped into a white car (don't know whose) and I asked why sean dont want to join us you said something about him being a side kick. but I have a friend tagging along with us too (steph woo) -.- this is such a weird dream. 

I miss you so much I wish that one day I'll wake up and you'll say "okay come over let's go mt Buller". I wish you knew. 

-Joyce

27.04.2013

haven't written here for some time. pretty much just busy studying and thinking of you. I really miss you so bad I ran out of emotions to describe. recently met up with a friend I haven't seen in a long time. he says I have a blank look on my face, and I didn't used to be like this. I wish I can feel alive again.

quite a few people have been telling me I don't really open up. im like a book they cant read and it takes a lot a lot a lot of effort to get into my little world. I don't remember myself being like this. I feel like something in my died. I wish I had you with me. I really miss you a lot.

all the plans we made are killing me softly. im trying so hard not to forget the little memories we have. I don't want us to be reduced to only memories. I wish we had something more than this.

ive been applying jobs in Melbourne. this feels crazy. who knows when im there you may not even want to look at me anymore. but I believe it's worth the try. I just have to take the leap of faith. been getting too many rejections, but i'll continue trying. I wish you were here with me, but im sure i'll do this.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

22.04.2013

today I miss you.

21.04.2013

today I went for adex. while waiting for friends at bay front mrt I can't stop thinking of you. how it was where we arranged to meet, and everything just continued to blossom. If given a choice I'll do it all over again because you're worth it. you're worth me trying and failing over and over again. you're this addictive.

went for quick drinking session with friends too. really wished you were here. almost blacked out the moment I stood up from the mrt, such a hard time crossing the road to get a cab, felt so terrible walking up to my room. worst was getting stuck in the toilet trying to puke and fixing my splitting head. I wish you were here.

I miss you so bad I feel zoned out. it's like I'm dead inside. I need you to make me feel alive. I almost can't breathe anymore.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

20.04.2013

random text from you "like your fb status" and I went through this emotion roller coaster I felt so awful.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

19.04.2013

took me so much contemplation to send you this.

"this is exactly what I mean by waking up feeling like an auntie. "

except I'm not getting any reply.
I wish you knew.
-Joyce

18.04.2013

today I asked a friend "what does your dad do" and the reply I got was "I have no dad". I felt bad. I felt awful. I did something stupid. I'm reminded of you. I miss you and I don't want us to become just a memory. what can I do?

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

17.04.2013

more job applications today, I just want to go over now. I'm taking this giant leap of faith for us, so please tell me it's worth it.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

16.04.2013

today I miss having ice cream with you in the pool. I miss talking to you as I walk to the bus stop after school. I miss you so bad.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

15.04.2013

i need you in my life to make me feel alive. I wish that one day I can call you up and tell you I got myself a job in Melbourne. I hope that you'll still me mine to call.

I miss you and I wish you knew.
-Joyce

14.04.2013

today I went for a BBQ after school with Gary (you know him? from Phs one). it was with his colleagues at this nice little condo. would you be throwing bbqs at your new place too? inviting friends and colleagues over, chatting over food, playing your boys games... I wish I could be there too, meet your friends and show them how good I really am.

and I finally decided to text you about seeing someone who looked like you in the train. it's really heartbreaking to see us reduced to this state.

I wonder if you miss me like I do.
-Joyce

13.04.2013

today I miss you so bad it felt painful physically.

12.04.2013

today I finally sent out my resumes to Australian job search sites. hopefully I land a job in Melbourne, get a sponsorship visa and all our worries will be unfounded. please, wait for me.

and you're going sydney in 35 days. sigh pie go holiday never tell me :( but who am I to ask anyway. will you eventually still tell me?

went for this culinary event called Savour today. I think you'll like it. it's really fun! had the most life changing pasta ever. it's like fly to heaven kinda pasta. and there was a lot of cooking demonstrations and food samples hahahha you sure like. went with my friend called Cloud. then I realised how wrong a choice it was. he put my photo as his phone wallpaper wtf?! and when we were walking he like will touch my waist sometimes like say "eh walk here" then I thought he was just being polite then at the train station before we parted he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. WHAT. THE. FUCK. life is so wrong on so many levels.

I wish you knew baby. I wish you were here.

oh and I saw someone who looked a lot like you in the train. like I was stunned for 2 minutes heart stopped a little. gosh how much I miss you.

-Joyce

11.04.2013

today you texted me and we vibered for awhile. I was so so so overwhelmed. it really felt so good to hear your voice again. I couldn't help but tear a little. you asked if I've been crying everyday. I really wanted to tell you how much I've been missing you. I think about you all the time. do you think of me too? do you put me in a little corner of your mind? I really miss you sooo much I can feel the pain perpetually. it's like everything reminds me of you. something I eat, somewhere I go, even clothes I wear. this is so painful, so tough. how're you coping with this?

you changed your cover photo to your diving photo. do you miss the times we had? although we didn't actually have a lot of time together, there was a connection, wasnt there? I'm seriously looking for jobs in Melbourne, please don't make me regret my choice.

I wish you know.
-Joyce

10.04.2013

so my period came today. I was so worried because it was late for few days. what should I do if................. I guess it doesn't matter anymore now. the sad thing is I can't tell you about my cramps and you won't be saying things to make me feel better. I wish you were here, really.

miss you so bad I wish you knew.

-Joyce

09.04.2013

i re-read the last texts we exchanged and I realised your bed and sofa have arrived. that bed you planned for me to warm, the couch we planned to cuddle in. I wish I can still rent that space in your bed. I wish you were still mine to call. I really miss you.

-Joyce

08.04.2013

exactly one month ago I came back from samui. I was sad having to leave you, perhaps even depressed. I was lonely and empty. I think this is what people call separation issues. but I know we were working towards making this work. so I was hopeful and tried to be positive. we made so many plans, for your new place, for me going over, for our future. little did I expect that we were not working towards a common goal, the same future. I've tried to do everything as right as possible, only to realise it's wrong right from the start to fall in love with you. I made compromises and sacrifices, only to have them look back and laugh at my naive thinking. I kept my evenings and nights free just to spend better quality time on the phone with you. never for once did you leave my mind, sadly you were putting me out of your life. it didn't even occur gradually. there was no warning, I didn't see a sign. you dropped the bomb onto me I felt so broken inside. I wish I had told you about this page earlier, but I guess this is what people say lost chance will never return. you're so special you made me feel special. I really want us to work out so please, I hope that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm all you ever wanted. I want to be The One you think about before bed and when you wake up. I want to put a smile on your face and be the first person you turn to when things go wrong. I want to be yours.

I wish you knew.
-Joyce

07.04.2013

today I mustered what felt like courage to text you first.

"hapz_boy_87 how's Taiwan snacks with mama she must be super happy her photos finally appearing on your page haha" - I didn't want to lose the little connection we had between us, but it just feels like we're growing further and further apart. is this really the end of us? is it really impossible?

I miss you. so badly. I wish you knew.

06.04.2013

how's the weekend coming along? did you do more furniture shopping? are you starting the moving in already? today I miss you a little more. so my heart ached a little.

daddy's going Korea today. before sending him to the airport we went for dinner. and how unfortunate, our dinner place was few doors away from Colin's friend's shop. so they saw me and I flustered a bit. just sat in the car didn't dare look at them. I wish you were here to deal with this with me.

oh how naive, I'm going to the airport now. one month ago we were so happy in samui, prolly snuggling away in bed? or doing massage somewhere. now I'm going back to the airport again, alone, with a heart heavier than ever. before this I was thinking about what kind of mood I'll have. the few moments of us I held onto so dearly, and the airport was where we last met, where we had our first serious talk, where we tried to make sense of our feelings, where we kissed goodbye. who'd have known it'd be the last of us.

did I cause my own downfall? you asked if I wanted you to do all the bookings and reservations so that I'll feel more secure and confident about you, about us. I turned down the idea because I don't want you to make rash decisions, I don't want us to do the wrong thing. because I was confident we were able to do better than that. little did I expect we would have turned out this way. if I had insisted, would things have turned out differently?

I miss you. I miss you a lot. I miss us. but I guess more importantly, I miss myself. I feel like an empty shell now. I don't know who I am.

-Joyce

05.04.2013

Friday and I'm not rushing home for FaceTime date. I'm not worried that I'll be the cause of your lost sleep. I'm not worried to keep you waiting.

but I'm not happy.
I'm not relieved.
I'm not enjoying my slow bus ride.
I'm not even feeling alive.

I miss you. how're you spending your Friday night?

04.04.2013

I kinda stopped thinking of you today. I just studied and got on with my day. I hope it's not the distance that's causing me to feel this way. I'd rather it's because I've grown too numb and too strong to crumble, because this way, I can still preserve whatever little memory I have of us.

today mom was so mad with jordan she broke down. I remember there was once I told you I was keeping mom company too because he was feeling down and you told me to stay with her, and go back to you after she's feeling better. I wish you were still here for me to go back to. I miss you.

03.04.2013

I forgot how I felt today. I think I felt empty.

02.04.2013

so today you decided to text me. and a simple "wassup" was enough to make my day. really. really didn't expect it, so it really caught me off guard. wonder how're you holding up. are you sad like I am? do you find no more motivation for anything anymore? I hope so, because it'll be terrible if you didn't feel anything while here I am feeling like death. and it'd also mean that this thing between us means something to you.

it saddens me that you called in sick and didn't go to work today, because you were feeling lazy. or are you affected by this whole episode? of course I'm no longer in any position to say anything more than "tsk terrible", I wish I was a little more than that.

-Joyce

01.04.2013

i wish you'd tell me everything was just an april's fool's joke, and we'll resume with our countdown and making plans. sadly, life's not always a bed of roses and pink and fluffy. the joke's on me.

when you texted me morninggg I almost cannot believe my eyes. I was happy + confused. so what's happening? and I decided to muster every ounce of courage and approach the painful topic once again.

"anyway I've been thinking a lot since that day when you said we should "slow things down" and I really don't get it. I mean I know you've always said we're not together and it's prolly my expectations of you that broke us down but surely there's something more to us than just being friends. or do you tell all the people around you that you want them to go shopping with you and swim in the pool while waiting for you to end work or even warm your bed for you while you're working? we made so many plans, travel when I go to oz, Maldives, trekking and do adventurous stuff, what happened? I know the future is uncertain but does letting this while thing go really gives you a fuller and happier life? each time I think about us it tears me apart so much. you may say it's always been my one sided feeling since you made things clear right from the start but who the hell travels hours on end just to spend 4 days together? and all those staying up for each other just to viber/ facetime? or are you just nice generally and go this extra mile for everyone? I know I can't be there for you when you just want someone there for you, but I swear I've already tried very hard to bridge the distance between us. I get home early just so to talk to you so that you don't have to lose so much sleep. I tried to encourage you the best I could when work wasn't going well for you and really tried to help you with your interviews, albeit I didn't think I was very helpful anyway. I know all this still doesn't change the fact that we're so far apart and we do feel lonely but have you never thought that I crave intimacy too? I do feel alone and sad too and all I want is to fall into your arms but what keeps me going is counting down each day to be near you. slowly but surely."

"I do too. I just don't see us working out."

"I know I cannot force you to want to be into this whole mess so tell me, what are you feeling now? do you even like me? and everything came so sudden and abrupt what exactly happened?"

"as in how?? we're not in the same place."

"so one day we're just happily making plans and the next day it just dawned upon you that we're not working out? that's it?

"it's always at the back of my mind that we can't be in a relationship as long as we're separate. as in i'm very certain I don't want that. I guess at the very start you're really pretty and I wanted to get to know you. but it just got better and I couldn't stop myself but I realised what i'm doing, and didn't want to keep dragging you down with me. so I kinda want to just keep a friendly relationship now so we'll somehow keep in touch until the future who knows."

"okay then guess that's the best solution but if you find a new girl must tell me okay. if she's not as good as me then too bad your loss oops. but if she's really that good then... hmmm I think not that easy oops."

so that pretty summed up my day. I tried to sound as casual as I could, and be the confident me I once was, even though I was aching inside so much it's like something is squeezing my heart and pounding on my head. I was desperate, not for love, but for you. but when you knew me you told me I was feisty, so I had to be that. I hope I did well. through these years of training and heart breaking and crying buckets and breaking down I think I grew really much stronger. I cried a little, the there was no more tears. so I got out of bed and sat at my desk and started studying, as though nothing happened.

I wish you knew.

-Joyce

31.03.2013

last day of march is spent thinking about what exactly went wrong. what did I do to deserve being torn apart like this. the mind is strong but the heart is weak. why such a drastic change? what on earth happened? I really miss you, I miss us. I can't move on with my life, I can't study anymore, I don't even know myself. everyday I just hope to see your name appearing on my phone. I want to text you but I don't know what to say. how are you feeling? do you feel the same as me?

30.03.2013

so I survived today again. I can't think of a single day I got past without crying ever since you told me that you wanted to "take things slow". I really don't understand what did you mean by that. I know you've always made it clear that we are not officially together, but come to think of it, all that staying up waiting for each other, making travel plans even to Maldives and Brazil and climb mountains and doing adventurous stuff and fulfilling each other's wanderlust, thinking of and missing each other, trying so hard to get out of our countries just to see each other, updating each other about our lives, do they mean nothing at all? all this time spent "together", do you feel nothing at all? granted you may feel pressured because I text you to death, I apologise for driving you up against the wall when all I did was to worry for you and trying to show some concern for you. I tried my best to bridge the distance between us. I may not be able to do anything about the physical distance, but I swear with my life I'm really trying hard. finding out how to get a sponsorship visa, looking for jobs just so I can go for interview when I go over, I'm really trying my level best. and each time I think about our plans to go Mount Buller, whale shark diving, great barrier reefs, warming your bed, cleaning your home, cooking you dinner, washing your clothes, shopping for your home, it all feels so perfect. how did everything reduce to such state in such a short span of time?

I didn't do anything wrong, except to wear my heart on my sleeve. so how did you do it so well, to leave all these behind so readily, so determinedly?

you finally replied to your "I'm so sorry", only saying you're fine and there was something wrong with your phone yesterday so you couldn't make any calls. so what exactly happened? why the suddenly apology? even if you met someone new, I think I have the right to know too. wouldn't you be a little fairer to me? wouldn't you spare a thought for me too? did you say "slow things down" because you realise sometimes you feel lonely and I'm not there for you? but haven't you realised I crave intimacy too and it's clinging to the hope of seeing you soon that's keeping me going? did you say "I'm so sorry" because you felt awful and went drinking and had a one night stand with some random girl you barely remember and feel guilty? save me all this guessing please. it's really driving me insane I don't know how long I can take this for.

I saw a future with you. I never did with anyone else. all I felt was happiness and love when I was with other guys, but I never thought of the future with them. but it's really different with you. so why this? I'm aching so bad I think I'm about to forget to breathe.

-Joyce

29.03.2013

baby today I miss you terribly. like really really badly. I woke up not knowing what to expect. I don't know what to feel. sad? heartbroken? relieved? liberated? one thing for sure, I feel empty. so empty without you, so lost without knowing what you're doing. it's become a habit for me to look at the time and +3hrs and wonder what you're doing. the difference now is that I no longer have the right to know.

you texted me at 7am your time "I'm so sorry". what does that mean? why are you up so early on a Saturday morning anyway. I got so worried I thought something happened to you. but you didn't reply to my whatsapp/ viber/ even international call. what's happening? I'm so afraid I fb messaged Ricky to ask of you're fine. he said he called you and you sounded okay. did you tell him to say that? or are you really okay? if that's the case why didn't you answer my call?

can I treat all these as just obstacles along the way and continue with my countdown? can I still look forward to seeing you? can I still rent a space in your bed? can I still fall back into your arms? I really miss you.

everything reminds me of you, even though we hardly spent any time together at all. clothes that you said looks good on me, I can't bring myself to wear them. it feels too painful. I never thought of putting myself through such pain again. I don't know how I survived through before, I don't know whether I'll ever feel alive again. this time round I'm really numbed. I can't even compartmentalise my emotions and thoughts anymore because all I feel is a turmoil of pain and hurt and disappointment and lost and heartbreak. I wish I was better than this. I wish we were something more than this.

3 weeks ago we returned from samui. I was sad, depressed, but I wasn't empty. there was a reason why I was hopeful and positive. and you were the reason. so tell me, what does "I'm so sorry" mean?

-Joyce

28.03.2013

today I woke up feeling awful, more tired than ever. I miss you so terribly. you texted me "morning" but it feels so cold and distant. I miss us. I feel so sad and empty. how did your day go? you're going back to your mom's tonight but I guess there's no FaceTime to look forward to? I feel really terrible.

27.03.2013

baby last night I dreamt of you!!! okay not you per se, something related. dreamt that I received your mail and it came in a big blue-purple envelope so I opened it excitedly and found this (somewhat ugly) bright blue NaRaYa bag and (also not very pretty) kitty beaded necklace with tassels :/ hmmmm halo can you write me a reply alreadyyyyy :( I've bee religiously opening the mailbox everyday you knowwwww :(

and you dropped the bomb on me. you said the whole distance thing is really not for you, and you're trying hard to keep up with my expectations and we should take things slow. you say you feel oblige to reply my texts to amuse me. you say that the texts may not be 100% true. you say right now I'm already expecting you to be like my bf and if I go over my expectations of you will surely keep rising and you won't be able to keep up. the worst was when you said I'm amazing and if you were in sg you'd surely date me. unfortunately, this is not the case for us.

so tell me, what's your feelings for me? how do you feel about me? am I just someone to fill the void in you when you feel empty and lonely and need someone to talk to? am I just someone who has made you a creature of habit to reply to my text and talk on the phone every night? how do you feel about me? are we really just friends? don't you like me even a little bit? or, to put it more explicitly, friends with benefits?

this has always been at the back of my mind too, but I tried to think positive and figure a way to work things out, because I see a future in us. and all my life I've been keeping up with expectations people have of me and maybe it's time for me to do something for myself. something I really want to. too bad now I think I'm being denied the chance because our heats are not beating to the same rhythm, and we're not looking at the same possible future.

so tell me, what does taking things slow really mean? can I still look forward to seeing you in July?

counting down to the supposed... 113 days.
-Joyce

26.03.2013

another boring day today, but hope you had a great time now that you had lunch with your new colleagues. your coolness just upped a little lol.

and can we go feed some wild dolphins pleaseeeeeee.

can't wait for you to move into your own house and we can facetime everdayyyy (provided I don't have lessons till 1030pm -.-) yesterday when you said you didn't have a sense of belonging because you're always moving so you don't really have a fixed "home", I felt really sad. now all I want to do is to go over and create a home where you really belong to.

am I being over-sensitive or are we running out of topics to talk about? :(

-Joyce

25.03.2013

today's such a slow and mundane day. and I totally woke up at 5am my time, only to text jade "morninggg" instead :/ bringing embarrassing to a whole new level. and you said you don't want me to wake up just to text you because you wouldn't have time to reply. but I just want to text you so that when you look at your phone you'll see my text and hopefully that'll put a smile on your face :)

you said your legs are breaking from walking/ running on the treadmill. I can't wait to go over and gym with you. or massage your sore muscles after gymming.

114 days now, every sleep is a day closer.
xo.

-Joyce

24.03.2013

so you got your guest room's bed today. and when I said I want to go shopping with you too your reply was "yes you can do almost everything with me when you're here". I just want to fly over now and be with you.

then I told you I can't put on the bed sheets so you'll have to do it yourself. (plus cause I know you can do it lol). and you're going to get the robot vacuum cleaner, which isn't totally bad but I'll still help you keep your house clean.

and I'm making a shopping list of things to buy already so please wait for me!

first up, fish bowl!

I really wish for the day to come when we're really not going to be apart anymore. I should do something for something I really want.

-Joyce

23.03.2013

hello baby, so today you bought your bed and couch woohoo! one step towards a complete home! I really wish I could be there with you doing all the shopping stuff... can't wait to see how the house would look.

you: "i'm lying on the couch now testing to see if it's comfortable"
me: "ask ricky to lie with you and hug him. see if it's comfortable."
you: "hug him for what. I rather hug you."
awwwwwwww xxxxxxx. yes hug me fully hug me. I cant wait to cuddle with you on the couch.

and I really want to buy those small little knick-knacks with you, for you!

and yo usaid you don't want me to stay up just to wait for you. you don't know how much I want to stay up, just to have the precious 5min of facetime with you.

I can't wait to be with you.

-Joyce

22.03.2013

woohoo TGIF can facetime date tonight I can't waittttt! but someone so hapz go watch movie halo it's 2:30am over there already go home quick!

oops so you just called and said fabric broke up with his girlfriend so you guys (being very good friends) hung around at his place after sending him home. hmmmm hope all's fine xx.

and i'm still waiting for you halo! 4:19am your time already oh no :O

-Joyce

21.03.2013

babyyy. today I was really happy you asked me about your new uniform. I mean... it really means a lot to me. that you asked me about it, with the subtle hint "if you really really want to buy something for me you can get me cufflinks" hahaha. I DID THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE! but I wasn't sure if you wore them so in the end... didn't buy. so now I know what else I can get for you already!

and I said I was going to get you a penguin suit and you said okay if it could fit me inside too so we can snuggle inside together and I can't run away.
me: "or maybe get kangaroo instead lol"
you: "or sleeping bag"
me: "just wrap me in your arms"
you: "you love it don't you :) don't worry I love wrapping you up. wrap you up all weekend. dedicate one weekend just for wrapping"
and I really want you to do that foreverrrrrrr. that's gonna be one hell of a precious weekend.

then we had our depressing talk again, about Us. you told me not to have too much expectation, "just saying before you get disappointed".

"i'm not going to be hyper everyday. can't guarantee. that is the main reason I don't want to date you overseas. i'll prolly make you sad all the time for not doing anything. cause you will expect the world from me and I can't deliver it."

but baby, why is it that you don't understand i'm not expecting anything from you. you may think that it's too early for me to say this because I've never done this before and I can say all I want right now but when the time really comes my expectations will all just shoot and you will not be able to cope. but why do I feel that you're using your experience on me? it's like halo how you know it'd be like this? isn't it a bit unfair to me that you're not even giving me a chance to prove that i'm gonna treat you right, treat this whole thing right, and not drive you up the wall? seriously, I know you're just trying to be fair to both of us, since things are so uncertain for both of us, we shouldn't bind ourselves to each other. but can you just stop depriving me of the chance to go after what I want? this feeling is mutual, and I know you can feel it too. why can't we work towards a common future together, instead of you keep telling me it's all only going to be transient because you just know that it's not going to work out? WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT WILL WORK OUT? seriously just because it didn't work out with Jey doesn't mean that it wouldn't work out again. please baby, let us have a shot.

"I want you to come. but after that hen what? it's going to be the same again you'll go and i'll stay and I don't want you to stay just cause of me. I want you to pick the best place for your bar exams. so ya if you're happy to come date 6 weeks then okay allowed. i'm just worried after the 6 weeks your expectation of me surely will hit the roof and I can't cope after. that's the only concern I have. yes I read your whole chunk. so what my plan now is still get you to come we kiss for 6 weeks then we'll see how after - which is very irresponsible. so if you think that's not what you want the you need to reconsider coming here. are you reading my whole chunk? sorry I can't be more definite. and stop crying I can totally feel your heart pumping from here -.- :p "

the only thing you got right was my lips fully trembling and I can't stop crying. the truth is I don't see how expectations are going to change after 6 weeks, and I think you're being really selfish here. all you're worried is that you wont be able to deliver the expectations you assume I will have.

"I want you to come and show you a good time and hug you every night and take pic of you everyday and care for you and protect you and feed you to fatness and furball together and shower you and violate you and stuff."

I just want to be by your side.

"i'll compare you with them and see how much prettier you are than anyone ever... of course must compare if not how I know you're the best one... and you're the best right now. we are not getting married are we? why wouldn't you be with someone better than me when you found the person? I've to maintain the best. I can't just do nothing and be the best to you halo."

118 days later, i'll show you you're the best, and so I am.

20.03.2013

"sleepyhead shhh keep sleeping like an angel... yes you can CPR me every night." - how to resist your cuteness you tell me how how how.

and i like it when you ask me to send you photos of myself. i'll send you one every minute if you allow me to. totally not shy at all hahahaha. can't wait for me to go over then we can take outfit shots together every dayyyyy.

"please you're an angel. see already smile instantly. when you're here i'll take a pic of you once a day" - yes i want to be the reason you smile. and when you're down, i want to be the one to put a smile on your face.

viber being fully bad today, so sad i've got class so no wifi >:( and i'm not angst okay. no angst at all talking to you. just want to savour every moment talking to you. and you said no one will want to buy fish bowls and deco stuff with you *secretly happy* MUST WAIT FOR ME OKAY. hmmm okay maybe except if your mom wants to buy with you... then no choice lor. can't possibly fight with your mom right! but other than that must wait for me okayyyy!

119 days to melbourne... this is the only reason for my excitement every single day. you asked why i'm so excited, because you're not excited... yet (i hope), unless it's like 19 days or something. everyday i'm counting down because i really can't wait to fall back into your arms, be right there in your life. i just want to make this work because i want it so bad. this is a long wait but i'm sure it's gonna be so worth it in the end. and i'm sure you know that too.

and i really want to say "i love you", and i hope you feel the same way too.

such a cutie pie xxx

-Joyce

19.03.2013

hello baby second day of work, sure you have zero problems at all. glad that you called me during lunch, makes me fully happyyyyy. :D

then you got me worried sick when you said you're driving home from basketball and will call me in ten minutes, but ended up missing even 1hour later. i hope i'm not coming across as being psycho to you... i was truly worried. like i was so scared something happened to you. car accident? i don't know. but luckily you told me after it was your mom talking to you on the phone. talking about the new place, moving will start next weekend and so on. i wish i could be there with you, helping you pack and move and unpack and put everything in place. i really really just want to be there with you.

"i wanna buy a lot more stuff like lamps deco arts and maybe small fish bowl. kinda want you to come here choose for me" - this totally made me fly to the moon baby. it's such a sweet though so please please please wait for me. don't let anyone do it for you okay. please wait for meeeeeeeee!

and it's your first time counting down to me going over. 120 days. slowly, but surely.

not sure if you're just tired or you're unhappy but you really sound pretty down over your texts. hope all's well over there. you know you can always always talk to me no matter what/ where/ when/ how right? so share with me what you're thinking/ feeling okay? <3

tomorrow's midweek! miss you so bad!

18.03.2013

baby today's your first day of work! woohooooo! :D

"halo can you like hurry yourself here and live here and take care of me" - you know i fullyyyyy can't wait right! you also can't wait?! oops totally not shy.

and you're so bad HALO what is this whole complaining about no pretty girls at your work place. the only girl you should me looking forward to is ME AND ME ONLY. *insert angst face* hahahahha.

pretty sad that we can't facetime at night. faster do up your own house and subscribe to internet so we can facetime + i got internet to kill time while waiting for you to end work when i'm there! just now i waited for you to end your movie with your cool boys then you totally forgotten about me and i was worried a little because it's monday night so i thought you wouldn't get home so late and... ... almost flew overrrrrrrrrr but i think too heavy can't really fly.

then over viber at night i took a little tour around your new neighbourhood. doesn't look too pleasing because got weird gay club with penthouse cages thingamy oh no so scary. hahahahaha. but so many lawfirms around faster go get me a job already!

121 days to melbourneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

17.03.2013

today i decided to stop being depressed and go for movies with my friends. hmmmm but i still miss movies with you. and really glad that we managed to facetime in the middle of the day. i really like the effort we put in to include each other into our lives. and when you told me to stop moving just so you could look at me.... i really liked that.

you're going to start your training tomorrow. i feel so excited for you! i'm sure everything's gonna be soooo perfect. i really can't wait to go over and i know that when i do, i won't feel like leaving anymore. get me a job there already? i'm like ready to go over anytime already.

and so cool your new home has a heated pool and you said i could go swim there... i think i shall. especially when waiting for you to end work... i can use a good workout. i can't wait to be there and go grocery shopping and (try not to fail to) prepare an edible meal for you when you end work! :D

did some poking around fb and.... it got me wondering if there's something going on/ something went on between you and chloe...? i mean i know i asked you before and you said you guys are just friends but... :(

122 days to melbourne! :D

16.03.2013

baby, i cried myself to sleep last night. because i couldnt reach you for almost 12hours and i was worried sick. i know you went drinking with your friends and you're doing the guys thing celebrating birthday and all, but i can't help but feel worried. so when you finally texted me at 4am your time i was so relieved i started crying and fell asleep :( then you were missing the entire day again, but i know you're having lunch with mom and ricky, so i told myself i should just stop scaring myself. and i thought we could viber/ facetime tonight but... you were to tired and fell asleep (i suppose). but still glad that you said you went to nice lunch place and wanna bring me there when im there. and said that your couch will take 16weeks to be done and when i'm there i can fully enjoy it. i really look forward to it! 123 days to melbourneeeee! AND TOMORROW IS ONE LAST LAZY DAY BEFORE YOU START WORK!

15.03.2013

wonder what are you doing now, should be out with high school friends for birthday dinner. so happening eh totally surviving on a dead phone :( so i missed you so badly i took out the letter you wrote me. so warm and fuzzy reading it. hello why you never write back to me already? :( you're fully ignoring me now omg are you okay please don't tell me you're totally wasted and lying naked on the street or something please reply meeeee. i know your phone is dead already but stilll...... it's already almost 4am your time HALO! 124 days to melbourneeeeeeeee! 56 days to exams holy shit. -Joyce

14.03.2013

Happy birthday baby! If only I can spend this happy day with you... But I'm sure you'll still enjoy yourself nonetheless :)

Really glad that you viber called me when driving home from gym. It's like you thinking of me yay! Glad that I didn't go school today so we can facetime before your nap before birthday dinner with you family. yay x2!


here's the resolution we made for each other, must remember okay! :D

AND WE'RE GOING MT BULLER! so happy you actually thought of it already hahahaha. and you're going furniture shopping + casino with Ricky tomorrow. such hapz brother bonding time. maybe i should do some bonding with jade too. i kinda miss her.

-Joyce

13.03.2013

For some reason I don’t know what I was really moody today, but at least managed to get some work done at home. Thought you’d be busy running errands and gymming and meeting friends so I left you do do your stuff but your surprise call at 4-ish pm your time totally cheered me up (While driving home and waiting for Sean and Fab to end workkkkk). You said you went furniture shopping again and tried on couches and imagined me seated next to you. I love that ideaaaaaaa. That you’re thinking of me when when doing your shopping CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOUR HOUSE OMG. Finally sent you the music cover I did for you. Was really shy and hesitant whether to even do it because what if you thought it was stupid? I had the idea for few days but finally got down to doing it this mornign and pondered about it for so long before i decided to send it to you. was really shyyyyy *oops* hope you liked it. i THINK you liked it lah. cause you were fully giggling and omg-ing when you received it *shy x2* and you sent me photos of couches and coffee table omg i really really like that. I’m sure your new home will be soooooooo cosy and nice. Can’t wait to pounce on the couch with you. and i think i finally understand your frustration earlier earlier earlier on about the 3hr time difference already. i realise that everyday im rushing myself to catch up with you because you’re always 3hrs ahead of me. like i can’t wait for lesson to end just so i can viber you and not keep you up too late (although most of the time it’s already super late for you ). or like i start to be resistant to the idea of going out in the evening because that would mean losing a potential chance of FaceTime. HAHA i feel so silly just typing this -.- but i just want you to know it’s worth it. it really is cause i don’t feel burdened or anything at all. it’s more like something i look forward to. 126 days to falling back into your arms! <3 -Joyce

12.03.2013

Fully cramping in the middle of the night. Thank god you’re not here. Totally rolling in bed + whining + curled like a ball + just wanna be left alone. Must have looked horrible, bringing unglam to the next level. Talked on the phone while you were driving to gym. Really like little chats like that during the day But why you refuse to bring me on “dates” and claim that we can just “hang out”? It’s like I’m willing to give this a shot but why are you so full of reservation? This is so frustrating. I don’t see why we should deny this mutual attraction a chance. I know it’s MUTUAL. Lets do this shall we? I don’t see how it’ll be unfair to me in any way because I’m also uncertain about my future. So why do we have to add on to the uncertainties? I just wanna be there for you whenever you need a listening ear, whenever you’re frustrated about your day, whenever you’re lost in life. And being there doesn’t necessarily mean physically together right? And this would mean we’ll treasure each other more each time we see each other cause that’ll be like falling in love again and again and againnnnn. I wish I can let you know how I really feel. I really wanna work this out with you cause this is really the first time I see a future with anyone. Anyway I really appreciate your thought of letting me use your card when I’m in oz ^^ And you sent me your photo even when I didn’t ask! Yayyyyy! Me: “so are you crazy over me huh huh huh?!” You: “yes yes like. A little. Everytime I see your pic gets me a little crazy. ” In a good way I hope? Kinda tried to talk about us trying to work this out and… I think it didn’t come through quite well. I wish I knew what to do -Joyce

11.03.2013

Fully not feeling like myself today. No idea why it’s like very productively studying in school but somehow I feel… Sad inside. This sounds weird. Seeing the part-time students sitting in class in their work attire makes me think of how you are when you go for class after work. Do you even attend classes? Or fully dozing off? Or worst, just not turn up at all lol. A part of me kind of hope that you’ll start work soon. I’m afraid of making you feel like I’m too busy for you, or I keep texting you and you feel suffocated. Lol what am I even blabbering -.- must be those period hormones oops. And I’m starting to hate this whole revision timetable. Fully screwing up with the time I have to call you. Urgh. All the angst coming out. And I fully loveeeeeeeeee it when you call me precious/ baby/ angel and so many other names you call me by. Makes me feel fully special :$ Glad that you like the video I sent you. Just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. 3 days to your birthdayyy! Woohooooo! 7 days to the start of your workkkk! 60 days to start of exams 93 days ti end of examsss 127 days to seeing youuuuu! (Thereabout lah give me something to countdown to okay lollll) -Joyce

10.03.2013

Day 2 back from Samui, still missing you crazy. Did lots of thinking the whole time – journey to school, in school, back from school, at home… Will this work? Will this bring us somewhere? I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want to give up. Because I can see a future with you. I’ve never felt this way before. All those boys I’ve dated, all I felt was love, but I never saw how we could have a future. But it’s different for you. I can see myself waiting for you to end work, massaging your aching shoulders, you telling me about irritating people you meet at work, me fastening your tie before you go to work, you asking me to go to bed when I’m hooked onto my laptop, me whining to you about difficult clients I meet, and the list can go on and on. This is going to be very hard, but I’m sure we can work something out. Don’t give up on Us, please? I read up on “How to sustain a long distance relationship”, I think we can work this. It’ll be full of love and excitement and a lot of looking forward to many things and counting down. Let’s start of by counting down to me going over to you in July. I was so close to cancelling Morocco, just to spend more time with you + go over earlier. But no, cannot be clingy + suffocate you. We must grow independently but grow together. But I can’t wait to fall back into your arms already. That’s something really worth looking forward to. 4 days to your birthday, I wish I can spend it with you. What’s your birthday wish? Secretly happy you showed me on FaceTime to your bro. *oops shysssss* And got a total shock when Jade stomped into the room halfway and took away 2 minutes of my FaceTime time with you LOL jokesssss. But why didn’t you say you love me when I asked you to? -Joyce

09.03.2013

Samui has been nothing short of perfect. In fact I think any trip would be perfect as long as it was with you. Fully enjoyed every waking (and sleeping) moment with you. Seeing you the first instant I open my eyes is just pure bliss. Waking up in the middle of the night peeping at you sleep like a baby just makes me smile. Sleeping in your arms makes me feel protected, like I can conquer the world. Tried my best to stay focused in class, I think I did a pretty good job. Totally couldn’t contain my excitement waiting for you to wake up from your hibernation. Was soooooo happy when you texted me when you landed in Melbourne, even before you exited the plane. Makes me feel important *oops sounds childish :/ * FaceTime was good/bad. Felt so nice to see you once again, but it was hard to control my tears. I didn’t mean to look sad, but it was just hard to control. I wish you knew how much I wanted to be your girl, and be someone you would be proud to show your family and friends, because I know it’s going to work. -Joyce

08.03.2013

Back from Samui, I don’t like what I’m feeling. I don’t like the talk we had at the SG airport. I don’t like how you think we wouldn’t work just because it didn;t work out with you and Jey. Yes, we cannot be there for each other physically, especially in needy times; yes all we have is Whatsapp and Facetime and Viber and maybe occasional snail mail; but haven’t I shown you how we can be there for each other in other ways? I did my best in helping you with your interviews and injecting some positivity when you were depressed over failed interviews and no-replies. I tried to stay optimistic even when things seemed negative. They may not sound a lot right now, but they’re just little tell tale signs that things may not be as bad as you think they may be. I wish I can just tell you how hopeful I am about us.

Everyday in Samui was perfect. I tried not to think about only having 4 days with you, but focused on enjoying every moment with you for all four days. Before the trip, when I first got to the airport, I was a little apprehensive. What if you didn’t like me the way I like you? What if we feel awkward around each other? What if this trip just wipes out what we had before? All the apprehension vanished the moment you hugged me when we found each other. Fully comfortable, albeit a little shy *oops* Glad that things just kept getting better throughout the trip.



The last few moments we shared were the hardest. I tried to control myself but somehow I just lost it. Did you cry at the airport too when you asked me to go to the toilet to grab some tissues and put myself together? I thought I saw those eyes glistening when I went back to you. *oops exposed lol* I wish this wasn’t that hard. Surprisingly I didn’t cry anymore after you left. Not even in bed. All I did was keep checking my phone to see if you’ve landed safely.

I thought really hard whether I want to put us through this. I know where you’re coming from, It’ll be unfair to bind us together because of the many uncertainties, and the many possibilities that we may miss out on. But I also want you to know that distance should not be a barrier. Two persons who see each other may also still end up separated, so I don’t see why distance should deter us from being together. Give us a shot, please? Put me in yoru plan, like how I’ll plan my life around you. This is really worth a shot because we both know we love each other. Remember I asked whether you love me at USM airport and you finally said “I love you”? That made me fall in love with you all over again. Why deprive us of this chance without even trying? I don’t want to force you, or worse, scare you. But I really want to seize this opportunity and not let it slip us by.

For the first time ever in my life, I feel helpless that I belong to this Lion City, because I can see a perfect in us. You’ll complement my inexperience with your wisdom, while I’ll guide you through when you’re lost with my rationality. There is love in Us, so please don’t give up.

-Joyce

04.03.2013

SAMUI TOMORROW OMG I CAN’T CONTAIN ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE I’VE WAITED ALL MY LIFE JUST FOR THIS OMG THIS IS REALLY COMING TRUEEEEEEEE.

03.03.2013

Skipped half of school because it was totally boring and unproductive. Headed to town to get your gifts *oops* Had already planned to head to town to get you the gifts, but since I skipped half of school, I have more time to shop + choose yay! Was actually contemplating an electric shaver, but i didn’t know how to choose + if you don’t like to use it/ prefer the blade kind then i’ll be gged (totally copying your language). Jade suggested pen, which I thought was a really good idea, since no matter what you work as will definitely need to use pen right! Plus if you sign important contracts/ document with that pen you’ll be fully proud of yourself + think of me so yay! pen shall be it. then I thought need to buy one for Valentine’s day and one for birthday so I continued shopping and decided belt is a good idea but I don’t know your waist size. Asked you and you were totally angst (really because of food? or too irritating that the diving thing is asking you too many questions hahaha). Belt also confirm got use right! So yay, best presents ever I’m sureeeeeee. Can’t wait to give you the presents, hope you’ll like them! -Joyce

02.03.2013

baby today i'm like fully angst because I came to school early supposedly for some group discussion but none of them turned up! URGH MEGA ANGST.

me: "bed sounds bad"
you: "bed + you = the most alluring. I've got a feeling the whole of third day could be spent in bed"
I can't wait already. you're the most alluring to me.

and dinner at school was totally horrendous. I was fully gorging food down because not enough time! omg horribleeeeee.

me: "I hope your new workplace all old aunty"
you: "wow so possessive huh. I know you'll be possessive gf- one of your traits. and mine"
yes be possessive for all you want. cause i'm going to be really possessive over you toooooo hohoho.

you: "I bet all the guys will be drooling over you when they see you. wow hot tan girl. so hapz."
me: "then I better don't go over. later all the boys fall in love with me. you sad."
you: "please not scared. i'll win you over. remember your motto - cannot lose"
yes baby, win me over, fight for me. because that's all I really want - for you to want me.

SAMUI SAMUI SAMUI OMGGGG.

-Joyce

01.03.2013

today jade realized what we've been up to. cause we went to the airport to send aunt off and I told her that i'll be here in a couple of days so she asked go where and I said samui and she's like "must be with Andrew" oops.

"i'm fully on couch now wanna fall asleep with you.and you can sleep all you want at samui." - i'm fully lokoing forward to it it's like i'm ready to leave anytime. like now.

you: "need to sacrifice my most precious thing ever - beauty sleep just for you"
me: "so sleep or me more precious choose one"
you: "of course you're the mostest precious. so feisty ask me pick one!"
I just like to hear you say that... oops.

SAMUI IS COMING ZOMGGGG

-Joyce

28.02.2013

baby today you had your interview, and i'm glad you sounded so positive! i'm sure you'll land a good job and all, everything's gonna be so perfect :D

and you look sooooo handsome when you put on your suit I likeeeee xxx

"go to class also wear so nice you're really amazing you know that" - if you like it i'll dresss up everyday just for you.

I can't wait for samui when we can really sleep together and wake up together and really hold each other. xxx

-Joyce

27.02.2013

today you called the guy and you have a phone interview today and actual interview tomorrow! omg so good for all you know you may actually get confirmed a job before samui how good is that?!

me: "go do your stuff if you need to k don't let me distract you"
you: "how to not let you you're always in my mind"
that's really sweet baby. keep me there. I really want to stay there.

and when you said you didn't really care about the trip, only looking forward to see me, I felt like flying a little xo.

-Joyce

26.02.2013

baby today you're preparing for your interview tomorrow. and luckily hot party girl turned you down, because you got an email offering another interview! see!!! so many interviews coming your way sooooooooo good! :D

"you're such an angel everything you say just makes me feel good. you totally deserve lots of loving in samui from me you earned it!"

me: "oh ya forgot about you're deeply in love with those cooks (masterchef)"
you: "not as deeply as in love with you. just saying don't think too much. in case you go berserk."
HALO WHAT'S WITH YOU AND YOUR DISCLAIMERS HUH HUH HUH. very hard to love me? seriously?

-Joyce

25.02.2013

8 days to samui. soooo fastttt woohoooo!

me: "are you looking forward to it?"
you: "looking forward to hold you"
and I totally did the ^^ face - i'm looking forward to be held by youuuu.

and you're soooo not disciplined halo keep sleeping when you're supposed to be preparing for your interview!
you: "what are you doing to do about it?"
me: "punish you. no talking to you in samui."
you: "so just kissing? okay i'll have to accept that."
lol baby I don't think i'll ever be angry with you. you just have your way of turning the tables around.

-Joyce

24.02.2013

you're back todayyyy! ho ho ho so hapz. such a waste it kept raining so you're totally couch-bound. hope that samui wouldn't rain too much :/

-Joyce

23.02.2013

today you're fully submerged in nature, away from civilization. but I totally got owned by civilization, because the car ran out of battery! urgh angst.

hope you're enjoying yourself anyhow! xo.

-Joyce

22.02.2013

so today you went for your mountain staycation... and I miss you so.

-Joyce

21.02.2013

12 more days to samui ho ho ho ho ho!

today you had an interview but you think you didn't do that well. like you think your answers were not good enough for a manager's role plus if you get the job you'll have to move to Sydney, but you still prefer Melbourne. hmmmm see how it goes okay? don't worry too much. i'm sure everything comes for a reason and if you don't get this job, it means something better is waiting for you!

you: "actually don't smell. I naturally smell nice"
me: "i'll get used to it. and when you're smelly i'll smelly you back"
you: "so romantic ah! we';; smelly together so i'll have to bring you to shower together so that's the romantic part"

then we started talking about things to do in samui: "we'll just eat and sun tan and swim and make love okay. you're kinda sexy so it's hard not to think about it too much."
hmmmmm you got me thinkinggggg.

anyway you're going for your mountain staycation tomorrow :( i'm gonna miss you soooo much! just stay safe and enjoy yourself okay! :D xo

-Joyce

20.02.2013

I GOT YOUR LETTER TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMG OMG OMG MEGA HYPER oops. that's for the kitty omg shit I didn't get you anything at all how can like this. lose already :(

I fully fully cannot wait for samuiiiiii!

-Joyce

19.02.2013

we’re booking samui tix todayyyyyy!!!! yayness omg super excited really can hardly contain my excitement. it’s like first step to making US materialiseeeeee omg. okay actually i also don’t know what to expect from the trip lahhhh. but i’m just so excited to see youuuu! and we facetimed in bed, like when i jsut woke up. worst time to facetime because i think i look horrible. but i still like the feeling of it cause it puts a good start to my day and i feel really bad because you refuse to let me pay for my own tix! >:( “no good to transfer cause it will be converted to aud so your sgd will be more bo hua. so don’t worry i’ll pay for the air tix you just take care of me on the trip DD xxx” of course i’ll take care of you during the trip right! but still… i feel so bad. it’s okay. i’ll try again some other day. and you so mean i sent you a photo of weird guy who added me on fb and thanked me after that and you said “traumatizing”?!?!?! hahahahaha so mean hello. but i fully agree *oops* You: “precious hand cannot anyhow let people shake okay” Me: “will you shake my hand?” You: “pelase i’m holding your hand” and my face totally went ^^ -Joyce

18.02.2013

today i woke up angst because my laptop was wiped out so there goes my thesis. bringing life sucks to a while new level. but your encouragement totally kept me going “when i re-write it either becomes super good or super rubbish. and yours will be super good.” -Joyce

17.02.2013

omg the hotel in samui is confirmeddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY MOLY FULLY IMPLODING WITH EXCITEMENT. and so sorry you’re always sleepin gso late because of me that’s why pimples all coming out! “my fault for wanting to sleep with you” – i like that. BUT I STILL FEEL BAD -Joyce

16.02.2013

so today we embarked on our samui planning journey! woohoooo! this is gonna be so so so excitinggggg. then you were asking whether you should stay in sg for a bit. you know what? i really hope you can stay in sg with me all the time at least till i grad, then i can go find a job in melb. or if you wanna relocate to asia we can go HK together. i don’t care anymore. i just want to be with you. the desire is just getting stronger and stronger each day. and we had daddy’s birthday dinner today at zero.zero. really nice place with good food and ambience. i wanna bring you here! come back nowwwww! then you started to get depressed over having to send in more job applications tomorrow. i wish i knew what to say or do to make you feel better. i’m sure things will turn out fine. you just have to believe. -Joyce

15.02.2013

hello baby, so i saw your primary school teacher today! hahaha ms chitra. took me awhile to even remember her *oops* and you pulled the whole missing stunt again! fully going missing from sending your uncle to the airport you know i fully wanted to cry i was so worried for you that made me hate the fact that i’m so far away from you, only to be falling deeper for you. -Joyce

14.02.2013

happy valentine’s day baby. i wish that we’ll be spending the next valentine’s day together, and every subsequent one. i really do. funny how you’ve become such an important part of my life now. i just want to tell you what i’m doing/ thinking/ feeling every time, the whole time. i want to know what you’re doing/ how you’re feeling/ what you’re thinking too. you’re the first person i think of when i get up, the only reason why i check my phone so constantly. we’re already three hours apart, so i don’t want to miss any moments anymore. you’re the only reason i look forward to come home as early as i can, just to get good viber calls/ facetime before bed. that surely makes my nights feel better. i hope that one day, we can really just talk in bed before retiring for the night, and wake up seeing each other first thing in the morning. i’ve never felt such a desire for anyone else before. yes, never. i’ve never seen a future with anyone before. why am i so attracted to you? *oops very shy* you’re going to do inspection for your new house tomorrow. so good to have your own place and do whatever you like with it. i wish i can be there to share the excitement with youuuuu -Joyce

13.02.2013

babyyyy. today you fully disappeared from like 4:30 – 11pm your time omg i thought what happened. fully spammed you till death then hating myself because i’m so far from you! but yo uwere out with your ex-colleagues so… manybe i’m just over-thinking? and i wish i can do something for you for your interview round 2 tomorrow. -Joyce

12.02.2013

today’s third day of cny… totally dreading going back to school tomorrow but hey you have no work woohoo! but you went to do xray then back to mom’s place to use internet. wish i were there with you to make sure you put everything back into place so that you won’t get caught! and when i told you i think i speak too fast for my presentation you gave me the idea of using hand gestures. thanks for helping even though you’re sooooo far awayyyyy. i’m sure if you were here i’d definitely present it to you “omg cramps please go away whats wrong with it go haunt someone else please” – how cute can you be?! omggg too cuteeeee. me: “you must tell me when hot girl say you ke ai, or round ball write love letter to you. then i can angst naturally or laugh naturally.” you: “please i tell you everything.” yes baby tell me everything because i really want to know everything about you. -Joyce

11.02.2013

baby today my enczema acted up so bad. i feel so disfigured Me: “will you don’t want me if i’m disfigured?” You: “depends on how disfigured you are…. jokessss… i’ll still be texting and asking for you everyday.” thanks babyyyy. mean what you say okay! but if i’m really disfigured… PLEASE GET ME A GOOD PLASTIC SURGEON! today’s your first time at the chiropractor’s. i wish i can go with you! although i’m sure it’s nothing scary… i just wanna be there for you. with you. and you sent me a couple of photos of you testing out new specs…. totally cute. i like that you asked for my opinion, although i’m sure you look good in whatever specs you choose. really. you have the specs face! and you sent me a photo of ROUND BALL. that’s really mean hello please dont ever ever call me round ball i’ll be depressed and maybe suicidal. just get me some gym membership. i’ll get the hint! :/ -Joyce

10.02.2013

happy cny baby! soooo much feasting i wish i can spend it with you! sighpieeeeee. so you had a haircut today… but i don’t see any difference :/ oops. hahaha the lady got distracted by your… cute face? and muscles? and dimples? oops. and such a pity you have to go back to the city apartment even though you dont have work tomorrow. if i were there i’d stayover with you oops. i just want to be with you hmmm. what spell have you cast over me? -Joyce

09.02.2013

eve of cny! festive occasion makes me miss you a little more. “hunny bunny” auto corrected to “hubby bunny” oops. and you still approved totally not shy ah! then you were sharing your worries with me, that you don’t know wheter to tell your mom about you being unemployed now, or only let her know when you find a job. i’d say don’t tell her first, although i know there may be negative repercussions if she finds out. tough choice, but i’ll bear the consequences with you no matter what happens okay! -Joyce

08.02.2013

happy last day of work baby!!!! liberation for you woohoo! glad that you’re enjoying yourself with more farewell dinners and such. i really really really want to be there too and i’m having reunion dinner with my family today! wish you were here. eat together, talk together, laugh together. it’s so perfect… then i felt really bad that you stayed up ill almost 2;3oam your time but we still can’t facetime cause im still with my family and you said that we havent facetimed for a long time. sigh although i’m glad that you want to facetime with me, i feel soooo x100 bad that you stayed up for me yet still no facetime. sorry baby i wish i can do better than this. -Joyce

07.02.2013

you had interview again today! glad that you think it went good it’s gonna be sooooo good and i know it. you said you super hope you’ll get the job. i hope that you get it too! then you’ll feel more at east and stop worrying then you had drinks with your colleagues as farewell. if only i were there i could have join you guys! -Joyce

06.02.2013

today you had an interview (halfway through work). was worried + thinking of you the whole time, glad that you sounded sooooo positive after the interview! and even got the date for second interview. on valentine’s day! hahahaaa it’s gonna be such a goooooddd day! and you’re having another interview tomorrow! glad that you’ve got a friend to help you with this interview. it’s gonna be soooo good glad that you went home to prepare and feel excited for the interview. first step to success! and since you said tomorrow’s interview has good future prospect, i hope you get it! You: “too much HK in my uni life angst” Me: “so if next time i go HK you’ll hate me” You: “no i’ll come live with you and angst behind their backs” i like that you initiated coming with me! i really want ot be with you it feels so complete. i just know it. “Andrew you’re so on form” – HMMMMM You: “thanks for you 5min. youre always there for me when i need you.” Me: “even when you don’t need me i’ll still hang around bugging you” You: “thank you for that too” hope you’ll never ever get sick of me. really. i really want to do something about us. hopefully in few months to come once i graduate we can work something out. i don’t know why but i want this so bad. -Joyce

05.02.2013

Today you have a phone interview for a call centre – shit job with shit pay as you call it. sucks to know you’re feeling unhappy about being unemployed but i can’t do anything forthen i you. i mean even if i were there with you there’s also isnt anything i can do, but at least i can give you a hug and let you know that everything’s gonna be okay. but don’t lose hope okay, next interview’s only gonna be better when i sent you a photo pf my handwriting (my essays) and you said “you’re such a beautiful girl” for a moment my heart stopped cause i thought you meant it for someone else oops :/ managed to get you a list of tough interview questions in preparation for your interview tomorrow. makes me feel 0.0002% more useful haha. but still glad that they can somehow help you a bittttt :i just have to familiarise with it and go in with more confidence. scared cause it’s really at stake. it’s this or doom kind. and the last two interviews i was unsuccessful.” – i wish i knew what to say or do when you’re down like this. maybe secretly glad that i’m not there cause i’ll be at a loss of what to say. but then again, i can always give you a hug and let you know that i’ll be there for you. wait for me, will you? and meanwhile, dont lose faith in yourself. -Joyce

04.02.2013

got my revision timetable today. we can really really fully plan march trip already!!!!!!!!!! and i like the idea you so voluntarily and willingly say you’ll cook for me when i’m there so all i have to do is to be fed by you. that’s like in my own little paradise with you. CAN’T WAITTTTTTTT! and i helped you do your survey stuff for your job applications. finally not feeling useless. able to help a little. and sent you photos of you and your ex *oops* omg now so threatened she so cute please. and you must have really liked her a lot. i just have that… feeling. hmmmm. can’t deny i’m kinda jealous of her but i don’t know for what reason. but she’s really cute with thouse smiley little eyes. ME: “Omg so full now feels pregnant” You: “come let you lie on me have a rest and let me gently rub your tummy aww our baby x” whutttttttt -.- lollll. and i really really hope your interview tomorrow goes smoothly. I wish i can be there to give you moral support buttttt…. i’m sure you’ll do well anyway. xo. -Joyce

03.02.2013

today you mentioned you wanna be a kid again. cause you’re preparing for your interview. I wish i can be there to rehearse for the interview with you. and let you know that everything’s gonna be okay. “20mins late (for class). that’s my girl” – why am i secretly happy you called me “your girl”? *oopssss* “You’ve a beautiful body. I’ve touched it I know. Plus all the chocolate will go to the important places that I like anyways” – oops shy x2 -Joyce

02.02.2013

Serious work hunt starts for you. but you’re fully sleeping in between omgggg. SO YOU. lol. did family photoshoot today. wished you were here :/ -Joyce

01.02.2013

You resigned today! omg it was really kinda sudden cause i thought you’d resign afer you get a new job but… i guess it’s good liberation for you! and you told your mom you wanna stay in sg afer china trip omggggg. this is really getting realllll. and when i sent you face of the day your reply was….. “哈哈哈 真飘亮！ 我爱 xx” hahahaha! when i saw the hahaha i was like “omg oh shit you’re tired of me already” -.- and you fully camwhored and sent me all the cute photos omgggg cannot resist. can still visualise your photos in my head as im typing lolll. and you sent me a conversation between you and your mom. so cute + mean totally just say you’re gonna sleep for the two weeks you’re in sg -.- YES YOU’RE COMING TO SG!!! -Joyce

31.01.2013

You were being totally cute today. Say i have many photos on fb but never send you make you have to suffer so long. :/ i like that you enjoy looking at my photos! i can send you a all the time if you let me hahahaha. And everyday when we talk about i just wanna roll around in bed, you just want to plant kisses on me… just makes me feel like everything’s gonna so perfect. We’ll work this out and it’s gonna be amazing <3 -Joyce

30.01.2013

viber totally screwing up today couldn’t even have a proper chat before class. but at least i got audio note yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! <3 -Joyce

29.01.2013

“that week is my birthday week so need to spend it with someone special right. you’re the most special.” – i want to be special just for you. Fully googling about air tickets today. Can hardly contain my excitement omggggg. Baby, I’m fully looking forward to the day we can really spend quality time together xo. -Joyce

28.01.2013

Baby you’re so cute why would you worry that i would leave you just because you can’t cook as well as ken?! hahahha don’t cook too well i don’t want to grow fatttttt :/ But i totally cannot wait for the day you cook for me oops. -Joyce

27.01.2013

“Go diving, go snowboarding, go swimming, go dancing, go make love” – oops totally shy but totally looking forwardddd. I miss you baby. -Joyce

26.01.2013

Today you told me your mom talking to you about finding a girlfriend and you told her you wanna find someone 4-5 years younger but she thinks that’s too immature and you said “She has no idea i’ve found the perfect person – you. I wanna show her how great you are. Don’t stress ok slowly” – I wish that’s what you really think. I want to be someone you can be proud of. someone you wanna show your family. And you said you wanna dive with whale sharks. I like that. I wanna tick off things on your “want list” with you. one by one yay! Me: “I wish I can do something to help you :/ ” You: “You just want for me to come back and love you that’s all you need to prepare yourself ” I don’t need to prepare. I think I’m fully ready to be loved by you. “One day you get sick of audio notes and FaceTime, when you need someone beside you when you’re down, and someone to celebrate with you when you’re happy, and i can’t do that.” – I admit it’s still too early to tell whether i’ll get sick of them (or maybe you’ll get sick of seeing me on the screen :/), but i just wanna you to know that everyday i long for your audio notes/ photos/ texts because they keep me going. “care for you x100 a lot. but i really can’t do anything for you right now. even the simplest thing of being right next to you also cannot. how to be a good lover tell me. so i feel bad. and worse if you start pinning hopes on me. but i’ll take care of you 200% when i’m with you definitely. i’m just reminding you that it’s not all perfect with me that’s all. as you grow older you’ll know what you want and you’ll start to realise this might be a waste of time. and this moment you’re the only time i want to spend with.” – baby, why can’t you place some trust in us? Totally looking forward to Koh Samui anyway xoxoxox -Joyce

25.01.2013

“Please I told you I like you sleeping all the time right. Especially when you’re staying with me then I can gently pounce hug you while you’re asleep and squeeze in next to you.” – YES PLEASE. Sorry baby you totally had to stay up will 2am you time just to wait for me to end school + reach home to FaceTime. I wish I’m done with school now now now LIKE NOW -Joyce

24.01.2013

Today’s gonna be a really busy day for me, cause of all the house moving. Sent you a video to let you know how much i miss youuuuu *oops shy* “You’re so beautiful in the video babe” – yes baby that’s all i need to hear from you. “You’re amazing. You’re beautiful to me. You’ll be even more beautiful when I sleep next to you.” – I’m totally looking forward to it *oops shy x2* Thanks for panicking with me over the scratched floor. Hope my mom doesn’t kill me! :S “I wish I’m there with you. And calm down together with you. And make sure everything will be alright with you.” you know how much i want it too? -Joyce

23.01.2013

I like how you want to fulfill my wanderlust with me. Can’t wait for the one small step to Thailand in March, one happy step to Oz in July, and many steps together in the near future. And when you talk about us going for (potential) road trips when I go over in July jsut makes me sooooo excited omggggg. “Please you just stay at home wait for the prince to come back to love you.” I’d very much like that too *oops* And you’re thinking of moving into your apartment instead of renting it out because i’ll be there for 1.5months… makes me feel bad. you think it’s really a wise choice? like i don’t want to be a burden to you and make you make bad decisions because of me Whe you keep saying you hate long distance, it makes me wonder if you’re hinting me that you don’t want to continue with this whole thing with me anymore. I wish I can do something because I crave intimacy too. But I think we can work the distance out. “I don’t want to break your heart. It’s just that for the last month you’ve been my everything everyday. It could be a now thing or it could go on for very long we’ll never know. And then I think you’re quite special so I want to be close to you no matter what. Maybe neing selfish for doing this. And you might not want me anyway halo you’ve only seen me for 4 days. So it’s also good if we can spend some quality time together see how’s the feeling. And if we’re meant to be together nothing can stop us.” It’s kinda sad to hear this. like… as much as i’m uncertain i feel like i want to be with you. since this is a mutual feeling that we have, maybe we can work something out? I really want to work something out, but i need you to be in this with me. AND I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ALL OUR MEDIA EXCHANGED OMG I FEEL SUICIDAL BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. -Joyce

22.01.2013

Thought you overslept today cause when I texted you at… 8am your time I got no reply :O and I cant believe you actually said I cannot kiss baby Darius! “I’m very possessive one you don’t know meh. I get jealous when you kiss other people whatttttt.” And I can’t believe I secretly like that… Rather than you don’t give two hoots about me giving kisses righttttt! LOL. You: “If I’m in sg right now and say meet dinner you’ll come right.” Me: “Noooo” You: “Okay then I’ll go find you at your new house. Then I’ll press the bell and say hi auntie uncle I’m here to pick your beautiful daughter Joyce for dinner.” That sounds absolutely hot please come pick me for dinner nowwwwwww. And I’m really sorry for asking about your dad when we were on the phone last night… What business is it of mine seriously. Urgh hate myself for my stupidity omggggg. “You have to plan coming here for 2 months soon. Let me take care of you. After work I’ll bring you for dinners. And movies. And cuddles. Weekends I’ll bring you away.” OMG HOT x2 You: “I L U baby” Me: “What’s with your random letters” You: “Huh don’t know leh just come out uncontrollably from the heart. Not sure what it’s trying to say.” I wish you’ll tell me that every day. When you’re in control of yourself that is haha. “You cannot angry. Not as beautiful as when you smile. Cause when you’re angry your cheeks will go downwards. When you smile sweet cheeks go up and high.” <3 -Joyce

21.01.2013

Sent you an audio note to chase your monday blues awayyyy. hope it helped! and you’re totally high about march huhhhh? “I can’t wait for march! then we can have our own paradise ” Totally making me excited tooooo. Me: “Hmmm sounds nice. But that’ll depend on whether you want to bring me along to your paradise.” You: “I bring you everywhere with me. Depends on whether you let me to.” you don’t know how much i’m longing to be with you already. -Joyce

20.01.2013

So today you’re doing your job search againnn. Sigh pie what can I do to help? And I was at my new place doing cleaning and told you that I’ll be sharing a room with my sis and you started to say you’re shy cause when we FaceTime she’ll be able to see you but hello you’re mine so only I can see okay! And you went on to say “you’re mine and only mine”. I like that idea ^^ You: “You just need to marry a rich husband and emjoy life. You can be a mommy and a wife. That’s two hard jobs already. That’s why I’m trying to be rich. Then let you find me.” Me: “Is that a proposal?” You: “Not romantic and rich enough to be a proposal. Date in March first.” OMG I CAN TOTALLY TELEPORT TO MARCH ALREADY. LET’S GO DATINGGGGG! Can’t wait for you to check air tickets and materialise our trip! Me: “What if i don’t do the oz Bar?” You: “That’s ok. Then whichever country you go. Then I’ll go look for you when I’m on leave.” Hmmmmm. Will you really do this? Just for me? “Yeah it’s kinda adult decision. And I’m not really ready myself too. Like if you really come here I need to be absolute sure I can take care of you. Provide you with accomodation and care etccc. And answer to your parents.” “You can rent my apartment I’ve got spare space in my bed.” Do you have spare space in your heart… too? -Joyce

19.01.2013

You totally exposed me going to your place the first time we went out *oops* actually I also don’t know why I agreed to that… I just didn’t feel like going home yetttt. It’s like time spent with you was so comfortable and perfect I just didn’t want to lose the moment. Who knows whether we’ll have the chance again right? But I’m pretty certain we’ll have the chance. Many chances in fact. Totally like spending time with you, just lying in bed doing nothing, enjoying your cuddles and hear you snore. Me: “Will you bring me wherever you go?” You: “Please I’ll even bring you to bed to sleep with me.” Why am I secretly happy? *oops shyssssss* Today you had a bloated tummy, prolly from the prata you had. I wish I were there to rub your tummy and take care of you. And till that day comes, you must take gooddddd care of yourself okay? If not I’ll feel super helpless + depressed you know! “Hot as in you rubbing it (we were talking about oil here) all on my body feeling you touch me… That’s hot.” – oops shy but yes, I wanna feel your body. That’s hot x2. -Joyce

18.01.2013

Was browsing through the net letting my wanderlust run wild and told you I wanna ride on a cheetah and you said ride on you instead *oops* “Will I even let you get hurt tiny bit” – Don’t hurt me okay? Even if you have to… Just let me knowwwwww :/ And you said life would be much simpler if you can just be in sg working with me by your side and you’ll know everything’s gonna be alright. I like that you wish I’m by your side, but it kinda sting a that you sound so sad It’s amazing how I’ve totally let you into my heart, and how important you’re becoming to me. I don’t know where this is going to lead, but I just wanna give it a shot. I wish I had the courage to tell you this. Don’t lose hope, don’t let me go, okay? And it’s the first time I dreamt of you! Like I really saw you in my dream. I was at your bank waiting for you to knock off when a short-haired female manager came to scold you so you told me to wait outside the bank. I think it was an arcade outside with all the kiddy rides stuff. Then I woke up -.- I really look forward to the day I wait for you to end work and we can spend the evening together ^^ “I’m always with guys cuz the only girl I want to be with is you.” – I’LL HOLD ON TO YOUR WORDS WOOHOOOOOO! Me: “Later your friends see you keep texting me they also wanna text me how?” You: “No not allowed you’re only mine” <3 -Joyce

17.01.2013

Me: “I’m such a nice sister please” You: “I know you’re the best. You’re such a nice lover too. To meeeeee” *secretly happy you called me your lover oops* And you said big boy also need his girl to choose his clothes for him. I long for the day I pick clothes for you from your wardrobe and see you put them on and look so cute in them *shysssss* And you saying you miss me totally flies me to the mooooonnnnn. Why do you keep talking about taking shower together? Hmmmm… Sounds totally hot though *oops shy again* -Joyce

16.01.2013

“my sleeping angel” – i like that told you a malay guy told me he likes me and you said “you cannot like others ok you already like me lol” – i fully like that. “with you i think i can do anything. i can survive anything. in my movie you’re my lover that’s why you know my secret.” – turn this movie into reality? -Joyce

15.01.2013

Today you got put to another department. Not sure how this works, but sounds like a downgrade to me :/ Wish I could be there for you So I sent you a video to cheer you on. Go watch it when the going gets tough okay? “omg that’s the most beautiful thing. you know watching it my heart like skip many few beats gosh how beautiful you are. and you’re amazing baby. i love you. i’m still stunned. no one would do that for me. stun at your maturity and your encouragement and your belief and your love for me. takes a lot of care and concern for you to do this. for someone. i feel special. ” all it matters is you appreciate it. you’re going dinner with friends tomorrow and said you’ll bring me to meet them when i’m there. i like how you want me to meet your friends. -Joyce

14.01.2013

Fully having period cramps urgh. But “I want to hold you and love you” just makes everything a thousand times better. Today you got into trouble with a manager, the one who wasn’t invited to farewell, and have to stay behind to write a diary note. I wish I could do or say something to maake things better for you. And you told me how lucky you feel to have me with you. Imagine if I hadn’t waited that day… We would still be strangers. I want to remember how lucky we are now. So when days get rough we can think back and be reminded of this and move on even stronger. Promise you’ll remember too? “Your mouth so small so cute I want to kiss it gently. And feed you fat fat yeahhhh.” -Joyce

13.01.2013

You want me to embrace my time as a kid, and you think I’m a mature and responsible kid which you think is amazing. “I’ll teach you about life but I need you to be in it with me cuz I’ll definitely need your help,” I wish I could tell you that I wanna be in your life too and help you in every way I can ever help. Today was fully spent on faceTime + Viber + Whatsapp. I like feeling connected to you. Makes me feel nearer to you. Monday again tomorrow, you’re depressed again and I’m helpless again. -Joyce

12.01.2013

Called you a sleeping king cause you’re fully in bed at 4pm your time OMG



See your cute face? ^^ And you made me the queen and I insisted I was princess then you said you’ll be prince then because king cannot marry princess.

Me: “Is this a proposal?”
You: “Yes this is a possible proposal for in the future.”
oops shysss.

“You’re very precious to them I know and they will want a very good guy so i’ve to pass. Be more responsible and independent and husband material and financially secure etc.”
But you never knew you are more than perfect for me.

Then you said you think your mom will like me. I wishhhhhhhhhh oops.

-Joyce

11.01.2013

You had a bad day at work today, and said you need to quit before you get fired. Made me worry a little. The best I could offer was a Viber call. I wish I knew a little more about the working world thing to offer you more. I wish I can make you feel better. Then you said I’m only turning 22 and I’ll keep getting more and more beautiful and you’re planning to keep me around you for a very long time, so you ahve to get more and more handsome too. I like it that you plan to keep me around you, cause that’s exactly what I want. I think I know what I want now. To stay around you. So we viber call all the way from when you were in your city apartment till you got back to your mom’s place, and me ending lessons all the way home. Then fully got ready for FaceTime date. Such precious little dates -Joyce

10.01.2013

Today is like the third time (I think) I woke up at 0430am to wish you good day at work, my tiny attempt to make your day better. I feel like I can do this forever. Even better if I can just wake up next to you and wish you good day. *shysss* And you said we have to set new rules because you don’t want me to do this so I can only wake up to text you on monday mornings. I like how you’re caring for me, but I also want to do something for you in every little way I can. “Please I want you so much cause you’re the hottest and we’ll make the best babies” – We were talking about whose baby photos were cuter by the way LOL. Sometimes I wonder why are you so corny (but I still like it -.-) “If I love you whatever you turn into I’ll still love you halo” – So I asked you whether you love me cause I don’t want to wait till Thailand and your answer was “Yes I want to love you”. That got me thinking : what is “want to love you”? So today we went on and on getting high about a Thailand trip that we don’t even know for sure that will come true. Let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. “I’ve never known a girl who goes diving lie a hobby who drives a car like me who drops popcorn all over who eats burger like -.-”‘ who is so black who is so mature at your age who is so independent and so amazing and studying law and wakes up at 430 to text her lover and so busy that she’s not replying and so beautiful and so sexy and so easy to love xx” You know what? I’ve never had anyone say such beautiful words to me. What have I been doing going out with those guys, wasting my youth away -.- Why didn’t we meet earlier, things would have been perfect to the T. -Joyce

09.01.2013

You sent me a photo when you were in the salon. I like how we’re trying to include each other in our daily lives And today you said something about you being half singaporean and I said you’re nowhere singaporean and you said add me will become half and our kids will become mixed. That totally caught me by surprise because 1) no one ever talked to me about kids, 2) I never liked the idea of having kids. But why did I secretly feel happy? Once a guy said he wanna marry me one day and I totally did that roll eye face and said let’s think about that ten years later if we still can stand the sight of each other. That’s almost as far as things went. Hmmmm you must be really special. You said you showed my pic to your friends and they said I’m hot and you said of course with the ^^ eyebrow face. Don’t know how true this is, maybe nowhere near the truth. But I like the idea that you showed me to your friends *oops shyyyyy* And you said I’m your future gf. That made me look forward to the future a lot. Like I really wanna fast forward to the future right now. -Joyce