exactly one month ago I came back from samui. I was sad having to leave you, perhaps even depressed. I was lonely and empty. I think this is what people call separation issues. but I know we were working towards making this work. so I was hopeful and tried to be positive. we made so many plans, for your new place, for me going over, for our future. little did I expect that we were not working towards a common goal, the same future. I've tried to do everything as right as possible, only to realise it's wrong right from the start to fall in love with you. I made compromises and sacrifices, only to have them look back and laugh at my naive thinking. I kept my evenings and nights free just to spend better quality time on the phone with you. never for once did you leave my mind, sadly you were putting me out of your life. it didn't even occur gradually. there was no warning, I didn't see a sign. you dropped the bomb onto me I felt so broken inside. I wish I had told you about this page earlier, but I guess this is what people say lost chance will never return. you're so special you made me feel special. I really want us to work out so please, I hope that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm all you ever wanted. I want to be The One you think about before bed and when you wake up. I want to put a smile on your face and be the first person you turn to when things go wrong. I want to be yours.
I wish you knew.
-Joyce
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