26.01.2013

Today you told me your mom talking to you about finding a girlfriend and you told her you wanna find someone 4-5 years younger but she thinks that’s too immature and you said “She has no idea i’ve found the perfect person – you. I wanna show her how great you are. Don’t stress ok slowly” – I wish that’s what you really think. I want to be someone you can be proud of. someone you wanna show your family. And you said you wanna dive with whale sharks. I like that. I wanna tick off things on your “want list” with you. one by one yay! Me: “I wish I can do something to help you :/ ” You: “You just want for me to come back and love you that’s all you need to prepare yourself ” I don’t need to prepare. I think I’m fully ready to be loved by you. “One day you get sick of audio notes and FaceTime, when you need someone beside you when you’re down, and someone to celebrate with you when you’re happy, and i can’t do that.” – I admit it’s still too early to tell whether i’ll get sick of them (or maybe you’ll get sick of seeing me on the screen :/), but i just wanna you to know that everyday i long for your audio notes/ photos/ texts because they keep me going. “care for you x100 a lot. but i really can’t do anything for you right now. even the simplest thing of being right next to you also cannot. how to be a good lover tell me. so i feel bad. and worse if you start pinning hopes on me. but i’ll take care of you 200% when i’m with you definitely. i’m just reminding you that it’s not all perfect with me that’s all. as you grow older you’ll know what you want and you’ll start to realise this might be a waste of time. and this moment you’re the only time i want to spend with.” – baby, why can’t you place some trust in us? Totally looking forward to Koh Samui anyway xoxoxox -Joyce