baby last night I dreamt of you!!! okay not you per se, something related. dreamt that I received your mail and it came in a big blue-purple envelope so I opened it excitedly and found this (somewhat ugly) bright blue NaRaYa bag and (also not very pretty) kitty beaded necklace with tassels :/ hmmmm halo can you write me a reply alreadyyyyy :( I've bee religiously opening the mailbox everyday you knowwwww :(
and you dropped the bomb on me. you said the whole distance thing is really not for you, and you're trying hard to keep up with my expectations and we should take things slow. you say you feel oblige to reply my texts to amuse me. you say that the texts may not be 100% true. you say right now I'm already expecting you to be like my bf and if I go over my expectations of you will surely keep rising and you won't be able to keep up. the worst was when you said I'm amazing and if you were in sg you'd surely date me. unfortunately, this is not the case for us.
so tell me, what's your feelings for me? how do you feel about me? am I just someone to fill the void in you when you feel empty and lonely and need someone to talk to? am I just someone who has made you a creature of habit to reply to my text and talk on the phone every night? how do you feel about me? are we really just friends? don't you like me even a little bit? or, to put it more explicitly, friends with benefits?
this has always been at the back of my mind too, but I tried to think positive and figure a way to work things out, because I see a future in us. and all my life I've been keeping up with expectations people have of me and maybe it's time for me to do something for myself. something I really want to. too bad now I think I'm being denied the chance because our heats are not beating to the same rhythm, and we're not looking at the same possible future.
so tell me, what does taking things slow really mean? can I still look forward to seeing you in July?
counting down to the supposed... 113 days.
-Joyce
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