22.06.2013

just came back from bkk with family, can't believe I'm still crying because of you. crying for you. every time I wonder what have you done to me? what do you have over me? I don't have an answer. I kinda look forward to seeing you again, although I'm really not sure how it's gonna be. I wish you knew. I really wish. 

just as I'm feeling all sad that I didn't get your birthday wish, you texted me. you wish for the happiness I deserved as always. how do I find happiness when my happiness had left me. you are my happiness. tell me how to feel again. I need to feel alive. 

again, I wish you knew. 

15.06.2013

96°C Café - watching this show now. it's a channel 8 show but i'm watching it online... I have no time to watch during exams sighhhh. cried through this series one time to many. it reminds me of you over and over again. I have no idea what spell you have over me/. I can't bring myself out of this mess.

how have you been?
have you found someone yet?
how's work?
where are you staying at now?
do you feel like Home now?

I miss you and I wish you knew.
-Joyce Khoo

06.06.2013

I wish I could share the news about jade's pregnancy with you. I wish you could be the one I wanna share all joys/ sadness with. I wish you were still mine to call.

I still miss you.
I still think of you.
I still stalk your fb.
I still hope you'll come to me, and say i'm all you ever need.
I still think about how you're doing.
I still wish for a little something for us.
I still yearn for you.

I actually cried in Malacca in bed because hotel beds remind me of you.

I wish you knew.

04.06.2013

it's been a pretty long time since I last wrote here. the pain is still within me, except I think I learnt to live with it. it's really painful and I really miss you. but it's a good kind of pain it makes me feel alive, just like how I feel more alive when I know you had my back.
keyword: had.

just back from Malacca and I miss you more than ever. the last time I slept in a hotel bed I had you by my side. the bed felt cosier, the room felt warmer. this time round the room felt hard and cold, the bed was  too wide for me. I slept with the lights and TV on, and I cried myself to sleep. I miss you this much.

exams have ended for me, sadly all my job applications to Melbourne are getting rejected and more rejections. should I give up? I wish you knew. I wish you know how badly I want us to work. this is eating me up slowly. i'll be entering this next phase of my life very soon, this phase I've always been afraid to enter and I wish you were here. to guide me through all these adult decisions like you promised. I really want you here.

I miss you. yes I do.